And Finally... I'm BACK!!!

My gosh, I can't believe it's been six months since I put art up on my blog. I'll be honest, this is the first time I've picked up a paint brush in all that time. I wanted to but I've been... well, busy doesn't even cover it. I just couldn't paint so instead I read many, many, MANY books. Let me show you my first painting of 2017 then I'll tell you why I've been away for such a long time.

(Rainbow Radishes Tied With A Bow)

As 2017 got started I had to do some serious thinking about whether I was finally gonna come clean and explain what's been going on. I couldn't make a decision because the subject matter is so personal. What I decided to do is take a page out of one of my most beloved friend's playbook and tell the truth. Several years ago Tracey Fletcher King told the blogosphere what was happening in her life and I think it helped her get through it all just because she then didn't have to use subterfuge to explain her bloggy behavior. I think sharing her situation helped her in more ways that can be expressed. So, here we go.

I found out two weeks ago that I have endometrial cancer. In the last several years I've had some serious bleeding issues but since uterine cancer usually happens to women older than me, no one was that worried so I was put on a drug to stop the bleeding until I could lose weight enough to make surgery safe.

I've had weight issues all my life and never could figure out why I couldn't lose weight. Five years ago I found out I have celiac disease and once I switched to gluten free everything I lost a huge amount of weight. But since I had been undiagnosed for 40 years, I was still terribly sick (I also had more weight to lose for surgery to be truly safe). So surgery at that point would have been dangerous. The oral medication to stop the bleeding was a stop-gap so I could improve my health and lose a little more weight. Unfortunately, losing weight on this medication was IMPOSSIBLE. In fact, I gained almost every pound I had lost all while eating about a thousand calories a day.

Six months ago I decided I had to try getting off the oral meds so I could lose weight. My Gynecologist was against it as it was a possibility that the bleeding was in fact cancer and if it was, then the medication was acting like a chemotherapy device, keeping the cancer dormant. My argument was that no matter what, I needed to lose weight, whether it was cancer or not because they can't operate without me being thinner. Since I can't lose weight on the oral medication I thought the risk was worth it I mean, I was only forty-five, my chances of cancer were low. So I stopped taking the meds and lost half of what I'd gained in the last few years.. again, lol.

But then the hemorrhaging started and it shouldn't have started so quickly after stopping the oral meds. The biopsy came back a couple weeks ago as stage one endometrial cancer. I feel very lucky that they think it's stage one except the only real treatment is surgery. They did put in a chemotherapy device when they biopsied and that should help slow the growth and prevent excess bleeding. What I have to do now is lose weight. 

So that's where I am now. I didn't want to feel alone and I knew that I had friends out there that used to like my art so I thought I'd tell the truth and feel just a little less lonely. I promise to keep you all posted, I mean, if anyone out there is hopefully still reading this, lol. I intend to do what Tracey did, paint my way through this thing to help keep my sanity. She tells me it really helps and I sure do feel better putting brush and paint to paper.

I'll be painting regularly so if you're reading this you can be sure I'll be back, no hiding anymore. I've bought some new paints that I thought I'd swatch and I know all artists love peeking in on another artist's palette, hey, paint porn! LOL. I'm so glad to be back painting, I really missed it and I missed sharing my work. Talk soon, K?

Best,

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